Brainerd doesn’t believe in sidewalks. There really is a Minnesota accent. None of the names on the dentists’ building is Jewish. You can only fly into the area by turboprop. The king bed is uneven at the Red Roof Inn. The only taxi service in town will rob you.
A continental breakfast is donuts. The police busted an underage drinking party at 2am. The hospital is surrounded by trees. Anesthesia puts you in a time void; you could die on the table and never know. The lady at the Superamerica takes all my pennies and says, “That’ll lighten your load.” All the cute nurses are married. Compression tights make my legs look hot. Morphine is overrated. The hotel restaurant fixes me up with mashed potatoes. The TV set is a Zenith. It takes two days for saliva to come back. The famous lakes are really abandoned ore mines.